she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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