it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
