So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
