Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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