Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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