I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
