I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
