I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
