You just made me feel so damn special
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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Sext me about skeletons
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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