So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
