I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
