dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize