Pappa wants mamma naked
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
