Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize