She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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