watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize