i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
