I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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