hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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