if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
