I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You can't special order awesome
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
