Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize