She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We named our party play list daddy issues
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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