Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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