Umm I'm too high to move.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
