LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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