Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
