Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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