it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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