i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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