My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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