God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
