dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
