let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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