you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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