I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
