he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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