but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
