the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
