i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
