I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
