You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
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We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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