I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
