Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
