Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize