I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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