I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
