Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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