The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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