I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dicks are not precious.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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