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• (513): View more from Ohio

  So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon

  (850): View more from Florida

  Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found

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• (914): View more from New York

  I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?

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