Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?

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  (319): Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's? http://tfl.nu/rb01
  Replies (18) Good night (908) Bad night (5115)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  like hot dogs and buns.

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  (609): i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky (267): like hot dogs and buns. http://tfl.nu/crsi
  Replies (22) Good night (8285) Bad night (1167)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5603) Bad night (980)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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  (508): I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.' http://tfl.nu/78ru
  Replies (7) Good night (2372) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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  (847): Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night? http://tfl.nu/owky
  Replies (3) Good night (3752) Bad night (863)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started

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  (847): then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started http://tfl.nu/q84m
  Replies (15) Good night (4325) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.

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  (570): I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison. http://tfl.nu/ax4a
  Replies (13) Good night (2499) Bad night (1452)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong

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  (859): We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong http://tfl.nu/z1wm
  Replies (10) Good night (1403) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I have got to meet this girl.

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  (860): she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW (1-860): I have got to meet this girl. http://tfl.nu/ejln
  Replies (7) Good night (2178) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."

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  (248): So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits." http://tfl.nu/x9en
  Replies (6) Good night (2456) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.

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  (678): Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony. http://tfl.nu/3z52
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Helmets.

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  (616): We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids? (609): Helmets. http://tfl.nu/n1xg
  Replies (6) Good night (1021) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box

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  (760): Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box http://tfl.nu/sl6b
  Replies (4) Good night (255) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.

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  (719): Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better. http://tfl.nu/osci
  Replies (2) Good night (209) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?

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  (804): Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed? http://tfl.nu/h0fu
  Replies (8) Good night (601) Bad night (163)

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