We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
