and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
