I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
