Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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