is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Two words: blizzard sex
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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