Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
