Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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